Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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