um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
