I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
