Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
