That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
