So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
