i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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