Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize