we're blogging at a bar
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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