This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
