Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
