So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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