its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
