Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
