margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
