some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
