Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
