i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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