Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
