So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
