question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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