theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
