I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
