so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
