butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I sprained my soul last night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
