is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
