We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
