brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
