Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize