She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
