I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
