Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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