That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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