State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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