don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
