I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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