I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have aggressive nipples.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
