That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
