Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize