we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
