Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
