I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
