It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
