check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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