Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
