I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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