i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
