I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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