FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
