he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
