God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I understand Curling. That high.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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