tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
