so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I could fuck to npr.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
