he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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