Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
