So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
