some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
