Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize