Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
