Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
