my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
