That's when you crack a 10am beer
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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