Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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