She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
